Sunday, June 1, 2008

My Daughter the Sex Fiend



Just when I thought it was safe to open my eldest daughter's lunch basket, I had the scare of the century. Out of the basket I pulled a green cat-like object, sculpted from beeswax. Fine. Wrapped in the cat's tail is a gold colored object perfectly sculpted in the image of a PENIS. I was home alone, so I swallowed hard and set it on the counter. The next morning, a bleary eyed and sleepy voiced Zoe walks into the kitchen and looks at it, exclaiming most innocently, "Oh good, you found my cat with a microphone." In a composed voice, unnatural to me, I replied, "I sure did sweetie. That's a great microphone." She confessed that she had her BFF make the cat because she took too long perfecting the microphone. Maybe I should'Ve paid more attention to the Christmas sugar cookie she made at age 3, in the shape of a penis and called it her "Christmas Snake". One-eyed snake, maybe. Wish me luck, those teen years can be a real bitch.
J

4 comments:

J said...

Why are you seeing penises (peni?) everwhere? I wonder what a day lived through your eyes looks like...i imagine some sort of wang-filled Krofft-esque landscape.

Jenn, Sarah and Girls said...

I believe heterosexual women are born to see peni everywhere. It's a survivial of the species thing. Though a day lived through my eyes would be an adventure I assure you.

brian9898 said...

Those MGs really know their microphones. Trust me.

Jenn, Sarah and Girls said...

We should probably clarify which "girls" you're talking about, here. Don't need Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator showing up at the house.